


Crack a Smile

by redKardinal



Series: Overwatch oneshots and Gift fics [6]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Grumpy rat, Terrible Jokes, cooking together, just a happy little fic i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-29 18:54:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8501419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redKardinal/pseuds/redKardinal
Summary: Junkrat's having a bad day while hiding out, Roadhog tries to pull him out of his sour mood.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fingurken](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Fingurken).



> Late birthday gift for Fingurken.

Junkrat wasn’t entirely sure what was wrong, but something was irritating him. He always tried to find some source as to why he was mad, but sometimes just couldn’t find something which in turn irritated him even more. He sat alone in the little house they were currently squatting in. They’d actually been hiding here a few weeks and were making a small home of the place. It’d be a shame when it was time to move on and they flattened the place, but for now it was a nice place for them.

He chewed his lip, working on a new explosive, waiting for Roadhog to return home. While they were laying low, Roadhog – or rather Mako – was bringing in a little more cash for them by working on a local construction site. His fingers were twitching and he grinded his teeth, glaring at the bomb in front of him. Hog being gone was just adding to his sour mood.

There was a tap on the second window from the door, then three on the next window, followed by four hard knocks on the door. Junkrat clenched his fists, but stayed in his seat, recognizing Hog’s code. The lock clicked open and Mako… Roadhog… came inside. Junkrat shot a glare over his shoulder, not even greeting his partner before turning back to his bomb. Roadhog shut and locked the door, doing all the bolts and chains before coming to see what Junkat was working on.

He could see how tense and concentrated Junkrat was in that moment. His brow was tightly knit as he screwed together the casing of the explosive, and he was muttering almost silently between clenched teeth about how this was taking too long. Roadhog just stared as he worked, recognizing how frustrated he was. He waited for Junkrat to set down his tools and the bomb before he said anything.

“Where did the omnic go after your explosion?” Roadhog asked.

Junkrat shot a glare at him. “The fuck are ya talkin’ about?”

“Where did it go?” Roadhog repeated.

“I don’t fuckin’ know!” Junkrat yelled.

“Everywhere.” Roadhog said before Junkrat could throw a fit.

He fell quiet for a second letting the punchline sink in. “Ooooh!! Eheheahahaha! That’s a good one Hog!” Junkrat grinned just a little.

“What was the last thing that went through his head?” Roadhog continued.

“I dunno, What?” Junkrat asked.

“His ass.” Roadhog smirked.

Junkrat snickered at that. “Oh, that’s funny Hog, real funny.”

Roadhog nodded at him. “You looked like you needed it.”

Junkrat sighed. “Yeah. I’m not feelin’ too cheerful today. Feelin roight pissed off actually.”

“Why?” Roadhog asked.

“Dunno, really.” Junkrat shrugged as he got to his feet. “But that helped a bit. Thanks Hoggy.”

“You’re welcome.” He replied as he followed Junkrat to the kitchen. It was routine for them to make dinner together after Roadhog returned from his temporary job. Junkrat pulled out two frying pans and set them on the little stove while Roadhog pulled things from the fridge. He tossed a pack of tofu and a small package of beef to Junkrat and got vegetables from the crisper drawer.

“Ya have a good day buildin’ shit?” Junkrat asked as he filled one pan with beef and the other with tofu.

“Was fine.” Roadhog shrugged. “They flew in an order of five hundred bricks. But one was missing. They say it fell off the plane.”

Junkrat made a face. That was more information than Roadhog usually offered. “That’s strange. Any idea how that happened?”

“No.” Roadhog said, closing the fridge. “Junkrat.”

“Yeah, Hog?”

“How do you put an elephant in the fridge?” he asked.

Junkrat smirked. “The fuck, Roadie? I dunno.” He stirred up the pans while Roadhog got to cutting up onions for him.

“Open the door, put the elephant in. Close the door.” Roadhog said.

Junkrat looked up from the food. “Was that supposed ta be a joke?” Roadhog just shrugged in response. “Well… I think yer losin’ yer touch. That weren’t very funny.” Roadhog shrugged again as he scraped the onions into both pans.

Junkrat bit his lip watching the food simmer in the pans. Roadhog was working on chopping up lettuce for salad next to him. When they had left Australia, Roadhog had taken it upon himself to make sure Junkrat ate healthier. He hated it at first, but after a week of good food, _real_ food, he quit complaining and eventually admitted he appreciated it.

Roadhog went back to the fridge for cucumbers and tomatoes. Junkrat smirked, thinking if they had this much food back in Australia they’d be thought of as wealthier than any other junker in the outback. “How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?” Hog said suddenly.

“Huh?” Junkrat tuned to him, confused.

“Open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, close the door.” Roadhog said as he kicked the door shut and returned to Junkrat’s side once more.

“Hog, yer not even being funny.” Junkrat scowled as he poured some bar be que sauce onto the beef. Roadhog leaned over and sprinkled some salt onto the tofu before returning to his vegetables.

“Knock knock” he said

“Who’s there?” Junkrat asked, still looking grumpy.

“Europe.”

“Europe who?”

“No, Yer a poo.” Roadhog smirked as he sliced cucumbers into the large bowl of lettuce. Junkrat groaned but he did grin a little bit as he swiped some tomato chunks from Roadhog, popping them into his mouth.

A little later Junkrat filled one plate with his beef dish. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he knew it would taste good, and put Roadhog’s tofu meal on another plate. Roadhog followed him to the den with two bowls of salad and sat down with him. He spoke up again while Junkrat had his mouth full.

“The lion, king of the savannah threw a party for all the animals. Who didn’t attend?” Roadhog asked.

Junkrat glared at him and swallowed hard. “How the fuck should I know?”

“The giraffe.” Roadhog said.

“Wot…?” Junkrat stared at him.

“Its still in the fridge.” Roadhog smirked.

“Are you fuckin’ kidding me?” Junkrat groaned. “What kinda shit joke is that?”

“Yer smiling.” Roadhog pointed out.

“WOT? No I’m not!” Junkrat argued, forcing the grin off his face. “Seriously Hog, ya gotta try harder than that.”

Roadhog shrugged and continued to eat. When they cleared their plates, Junkrat took them and dumped them in the sink. Roadhog stood in the kitchen door, watching as Junkrat went through the freezer.

“Sally needed to cross an alligator infested river.” Hog started.

Junkrat groaned. “Good fer her!” he yelled.

“There’s no bridge.” Roadhog continued. “The only way across is to swim.”

“Then I s’posse the gators are gonna feast on ‘er.” Junkrat said as he pulled out a tub of ice cream.

“She made it across safely. How?” Roadhog finished.

“Lemme guess… the gators are in the fridge with the giraffe?” Junkrat glared.

“No. They’re at the lion’s party.” Roadhog said.

Junkrat covered his mouth and tried to stifle a laugh. “That ain’t funny” he said.

“You’re laughing.” Roadhog smirked.

“Am not ya drongo!” Junkrat yelled. He giggled just a little, but covered his mouth to stop it.

Roadhog took the ice cream and started to scoop it into bowls for them. “It’s a shame though. Sally died when she got across.”

“Yeah?” Junkrat said. “How’d that happen?”

Roadhog looked down at him, a slight gleam in his eye as he smirked. “She got hit by a brick that fell off a passing plane.”

Junkrat burst out laughing. “Oh my god, Hog!” he held his stomach, smiling from ear to ear. “Guess we know where yer missin’ brick went!”

Roadhog smirked and ruffled Junkrat’s hair while he continued cackling. “Alright, it’s not that funny.”

**Author's Note:**

> Had fun digging up old jokes I like :) Happy belated birthday Fin!
> 
> My tumblr: redkardinal.tumblr.com


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